A Change Is Gonna Come
by 7007miles
Summary: We decided that the events of Dead as a Doornail needed to change, except for a little of Chapter 1. Sookie has finally come to her senses and has decided to do something about her life. Rated M for later chapters.
1. Chapter 1

This story is a collaborative effort between **SeriousCrush** and **My Secret O**.

Charlaine Harris owns everything. We're just giving Sookie a brain.

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><p><strong>A Change Is Gonna Come – Chapter 1<strong>

Work has been hellish tonight. Between breaking up a bar fight between the college kid (that swung at me!) and Jeff, and the encounter with the twitchy v-addict/drainer, I was tired. _Sick_ and tired, in fact, of the shit that faced me every day in my dead-end job at Merlotte's. It's not like tonight had been different from any other night, it was pretty typical, especially for a Friday night. The bar was noisy, filled with clattering sounds from the kitchen, the beer tap dispensing glass after glass, and the happy chatter of friends discussing a game of pool or the latest news. This might have seemed overwhelming to some, but to me it felt almost quiet since learning to control my ability meant I didn't have to listen to their thoughts too.

As I picked up a plate from the kitchen, I zoned out, thinking about my ability. I had gotten pretty good at controlling who got into my mind. I had stayed here, in Bon Temps, and specifically at Merlotte's because I thought it was the only possibility for me. But it wasn't anymore, in fact, it probably never was. There were other jobs I was qualified for, jobs that wouldn't require such emotional investment. Working at Merlotte's meant I was constantly subjected to the judgment of Bon Temps' people that thought they knew me. Even when I wasn't listening to the horrible things they thought about me, I still had to endure their sideways glances. The ones that said 'Poor Crazy Sookie!'

Sam was my friend, sure, but I had no future here, except the potential of a black eye from the next drunk jerk that got out of line. Or worse. This wasn't the kind of life I wanted for myself, and I had been coming to this realization slowly over the past few weeks.

When Gran was still alive, I occasionally thought about moving, but couldn't bring myself to leave her alone. After she died, I felt obligated to stay, as if leaving would prove that they were right when they thought that I was responsible for her death. I knew that I had nothing to be ashamed of, but they didn't seem to.

I delivered the plate to Portia Bellefleur who was having a drink with a guy I had never seen before and she gave me her usual condescending look. If she only knew what I was capable of she might not have felt so superior.

I always felt it was somehow immoral that I could hear everyone's darkest secrets but ever since I got involved with vampires I slowly began to see my telepathy in a new light. Eric called it a gift and at the time I laughed in his face because I couldn't see it as anything but a curse; but was it really that different from other supernatural abilities or even from regular human talents?

Some people can sing, some are great dancers, others can run, swim or jump faster and higher than anyone else; some are amazing scholars or artists. People always admired other people's extraordinary talents, in fact, to some extent, people who succeed at what they do, do so because they have abilities and traits that make them especially suited to their occupation. Psychologists trained for years learning to evaluate people's behavior, devising tests to help them determine whether someone would make a good employee and whether he or she were honest and trustworthy. This was something I was naturally good at.

I didn't want to reveal my ability to the world so I couldn't really join a search and rescue team or help the police solve crimes, but I could find a way to work with the vampires on my terms. I didn't want to be rash and offer my services to the vampires without insisting on a few things; my ability must be kept secret, innocent people must not be hurt, and I would need complete details of each job. If I was going to work with the vampires anyway, I might as well accept it and make the best of it.

The first thing I needed to do was get a job that didn't leave me emotionally exhausted. Even when I wasn't working, my job at Merlotte's left me drained and unable to recover. I wasn't going to get any serious thinking done if I stayed here.

Sam knew that I was looking for a new job. We had discussed it briefly two weeks ago. Since then, he had agreed that I could leave whenever I needed to, letting me know that he had come to accept that I deserved more in life than what working in his bar could offer. He had already posted an ad for my replacement, and was in the process of narrowing down his choice. I even managed to get up the nerve to tell Sam that I had sent my resume for a new job. Sure I hadn't told him it was a job in Shreveport, but when I found out that the Shreveport Memorial Library was hiring, I couldn't pass it up. It was the first of many signs that directed me to change my life.

Sam would have to get used to a life without me, and I would have to be a grown-up and think about myself first for once.

By the time I pulled into my driveway, I was ready for a nice relaxing shower and some peace and quiet. As the soap removed all traces of the cigarette smoke and deep fat fryer oil, tears joined the stream of water running down my face. I was tired and sad but most of all I was angry. Angry at the world for kicking me when I was already down but even angrier at myself for being so afraid.

Merlotte's was only part of the problem. Hell, until recently I actually looked forward to going into work. At least it got me out of my house where I was constantly haunted by the memory of Gran's death. Nope, my job was definitely not the biggest of my problems. I was unhappy with my life but it was almost as if I was paralyzed, waiting for someone, or something, to make my decision for me. I had only known change to bring pain and sorrow in its wings, and even though I understood it could also bring joy I had yet to experience it.

A few weeks had passed since the witch war and the time Eric had spent with me and I was painfully aware of his absence. When he was here with me, I silently wished for him to stay, but when he offered I refused. I couldn't have lived with the knowledge that he had given up everything he had, everything he was, to be with me, but I also felt like I didn't want to stay here myself.

The tears boiled out of my eyes now, accompanied by small sobs of regret. I missed Eric terribly. I had seen him in such a raw form, stripped of his cocky smile and highhanded behavior, and I really liked what I saw…but there was also a part of me that couldn't bear the thought of never seeing that cocky smile again. I clearly needed to reassess how I felt about Eric.

I stepped out of the shower, and into my favorite nightgown. I needed something to keep my hands busy, and found myself in the kitchen. I started by scrubbing the counter and reorganizing the cupboards. My personal life wasn't the only thing that needed a good cleaning out!

My brain buzzed as memories of Eric pushed their way to my consciousness. It seemed like Eric was always there when I needed him and that I always took it for granted or chose to believe he had ulterior motives. Eric had killed Long Shadow to save me, even though in his world my life, the life of a mere human, was not worth the life of a vampire. When the maenad attacked me, he arranged for Dr. Ludwig to heal me and was willing to drink poisoned blood in order to save my life. I had always assumed that he came to Dallas to protect his own interests but never seriously considered that he infiltrated the Dallas nest to protect me. When I got invited to the sex party at Jan's house, Eric had been there for me, protecting me from the humans leering at me, and then from the madness of the maenad. In Jackson, after Bill disappeared, Eric helped me find him, healed me from my stake wound, and helped me escape from the king's mansion. I was so wrapped up in Bill that I had been blind to Eric's efforts! And what was the reward for my loyalty to Bill? I was lied to, cheated on, and raped by the man that said he loved me, all the while ignoring the man that really _had_ been there for me.

I never really formed my own first impression of Eric. Bill had spent months convincing me to stay away from Eric, and I was stupid enough to take his word at face value. Eric was supposedly a cold-hearted monster, only concerned with his own affairs. Eric's actions should have spoken louder than Bill's words, and yet, at the time, I couldn't hear anything but Bill's cool voice telling me he was no good. Now I was angry again. Angry at Bill for duping me, but more angry at myself for letting him. The spell that had stripped Eric of his memories had also stripped him of the usual masks and defenses we all wear to protect ourselves from others. What was hidden underneath was not a monster as Bill would have me think, or a power hungry, cold and calculated asshole as I tried to tell myself, but someone that had managed to steal my heart without even trying.

Why had it taken me so long to get here, to be honest with myself and acknowledge Eric's influence in my life? Why had I not gone to him? Told him everything? Did I really think that being honest with him would have given him power over me?

I was afraid. I was so afraid that he wouldn't want me, and afraid that if he did everything would change.

Our time together was so glorious, and then everything ended the night of the witch war, and I didn't have the courage to stand up for myself. What I _should_ have done was keep him in my house until I forced myself to come clean. It wasn't too late, was it? Initially, he had seemed curious about his stay with me, so maybe he still would be. I needed to tell him everything. What I felt, and what I think he felt. What's the worst that could happen? It can't be any worse than what I'm feeling, because my heart is already broken.

The plates and glasses piled up on the counter as I wiped out the shelves inside the cupboard. Perched on Gran's stool by the phone, I was tempted to call Eric right then and there, but stopped myself before I could dial Fangtasia, determined to be brave and talk to him face to face, even if I didn't get the response I wanted from him.

Wait. "What do I want from him?" As I spoke the words out loud, the answer presented itself to me. I wanted him to remember our time together, and I wanted him. I know that much now.

"I'm not going to be afraid anymore." I said as I polished a plate and put it down in its new clean spot.

Mopping the floor was the hardest part of cleaning this kitchen. There would never be a time where I wouldn't be reminded of finding Gran's body, in a pool of blood, in this very spot. No matter how many times I cleaned, this kitchen would never be the same.

I realized that I couldn't (and didn't) want to make this house mine. Not really. It was too painful to change it and too painful to leave it as it was. The memory of using a shotgun on Debbie Pelt near the door still made bile rise in my throat when I thought about it. Eric saved me that time too.

I sat down heavily, and found myself caressing the wood of the table, instantly reminded of my adventurous kitchen sex with Eric. Memories of sex in the shower, bed, living room floor, couch, and a few other unconventional places, put a smile on my face. I let my mind linger on those memories, realizing that every good memory I had in this house in the last little while involved Eric. I wanted to smack myself in the head for being so thick, but instead I stood up and went back to work, cleaning out the fridge.

I sat in front of the fridge on the floor, holding a half consumed bottle of True Blood, the warm air from the compressor blowing on my knees. This should have been a big enough clue that I needed Eric. Here I was, keeping a nearly empty bottle of blood Eric had left after Debbie attacked us. Weeks had gone by and I couldn't bring myself to get rid of it. It was the only physical evidence that he had been here.

Sam had been trying to talk me into moving for some time now, and I felt it was about time that I took his friendly advice and left this place behind. I couldn't imagine selling; after all, Stackhouses had lived here for over 150 years, and the house was filled with all kinds of family heirlooms. I could probably find someone that would rent it though. It had plenty of land and lots of privacy. I didn't need either of those things, or the gruesome memories of blood and death. I needed a fresh start.

I opened my purse and pulled out the register for my savings account, staring at the balance. It had taken me a while to finally deposit the 'present' Eric had left me under my saltshaker. I had given Jason some of it, just as Eric had predicted, but the amount that was left was substantial, and would be plenty to keep me afloat even if I didn't find a renter right away.

Filled with a new sense of purpose I cleaned until 4 o'clock in the morning. As I crawled into my bed, I was determined to change my life, starting tomorrow.

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><p>Please review...Reviews are inspiration :)<p> 


	2. Chapter 2

Charlaine Harris owns everything, we're just giving Sookie a brain.

**2010Ali** and **bethelove** we couldn't reply to your reviews since your PM feature is disabled, you can change it in your profile page…in case you want to!

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><p><strong>A Change Is Gonna Come<strong>

**Chapter 2**

I woke to bright sunlight streaming through my windows, and glanced at the clock next to my bed. It was 1 o'clock? Well I guess I had stayed up pretty late, so I was entitled to sleep in. I wasn't scheduled to work today, so I had the day to myself.

As I started making coffee, I noticed the little red light on my answering machine beeping. I was so tired that I hadn't heard the phone ring!

'You have one new message,' said the robotic voice. "Hi Ms. Stackhouse, this is Henrietta Roche from the Broadmoor branch of the Shreveport Memorial Library, we just reviewed your application and resume, and were hoping you could come in for an interview at 3:00. Please call me back just as soon as you can…." The message went on, leaving a number to call and a pleasant goodbye. I picked up the phone and dialed the number I had scrawled across the notepad next to the phone. My interview was still in place, and after I hung up, I just knew that today was going to be a good day.

I jumped into the shower and picked out a pair of black dress slacks and a pretty blue silk blouse. I pulled my hair up into a loose bun, letting wisps of hair fall around my face. I smiled as I looked in the mirror. I looked professional, yet casual. Just the look I was after. I slipped on a pair of black heels and went out the door.

I followed the directions to the branch and got there early. While I waited for my interview, I meandered through the shelves of books, and found a room filled with 11 to 15 year old kids, sitting in a semicircle around a woman giving an animated talk about birds of prey. I watched from the doorframe, enjoying the end of her discussion, which was filled with a question and answer segment.

I glanced at the clock. It was time for my interview. I walked to the large desk near the entrance and asked for Henrietta Roche. A minute later, a woman came out to greet me. "You must be Sookie Stackhouse." She held her delicate hand out to me, and shook my hand warmly. Her skin was the color of rich caramel and her hair was a shade darker, mixed with streaks of silver, held away from her face with a bright green silk scarf. Her dark eyes reflected her smile, making her even more beautiful. "Ms. Roche, it's so nice to meet you!"

She smiled and shook her head at me, "Please. Call me Henrietta."

I nodded, and followed her into her office.

Henrietta began right away, her words coming in a rich warm flowing stream. "Your name is familiar to me. Are you related to Adele Stackhouse?" I nodded my head.

"She was my gran." I looked away, struggling with how difficult it was to talk about her in the past tense.

Henrietta clicked her tongue, "I was so sorry to hear about her passing. She and

I were friends through the Descendents of the Glorious Dead. Adele and I organized a few multi-parish meetings back in our day. I really would love to talk about that more some other time, but for now, I will show some restraint and get down to business." She laughed a little at herself and put on a serious face, "Could you please tell me, why are you interested in working here?"

I explained my love for libraries, and for reading, and that I have always dreamed of working in such a lovely and quiet place. Working in a bar had become too tiring, and books had always been the great love of my life. Henrietta smiled knowingly, and let me gush about how peaceful libraries are. "While I waited for my interview, I had the pleasure of seeing the birds of prey talk in the side room. Those kids were so excited, it reminded me that there is plenty to learn no matter how old I feel!"

Henrietta smiled at me, "Funny you should mention that. Part of the responsibility of this position would be to organize community activities like that. It's nice to know that you already think they are wonderful."

I nodded again, "Truly, I have never seen teenage kids so eager to learn. It was infectious!"

"I see on your resume that you never attended college. Is that something you would be interested in?"

"Oh yes, in fact I had been thinking about applying to Louisiana State University, if, of course I have a job in the area."

Henrietta smiled and winked at me. "I think I might be able to help you out in there. Can you start Monday?"

"Really!" I squeaked, rocking forward in my chair. Henrietta smiled. "Yes, Monday. Of course. Yes!"

"Well then, I'll get Angela to get you all the forms you'll need so you can have everything filled out."

"Thank you! Thank you so much!" I shook her hand again and followed her to a cubicle where a friendly woman sat waiting for the verdict.

"Angela, could you please help Ms. Stackhouse with her W-4 and the other form so she can start on Monday. Sookie, it was so wonderful meeting you, and I just know you will love it here!" Henrietta turned and walked gracefully back to her office.

Angela smiled up at me, and said, "Here's all the paperwork you'll need! I put the branch phone number with my extension on the application page, so if you have any questions, don't hesitate to call!"

I turned to leave, clutching the papers close to my heart, thrilled at how quickly my new life was taking shape, when I thought of another question to ask. "Angela? Do you know of any apartments for rent close by?"

Her face lit up again, "Sure, the Park Villa Apartments are within walking distance, and if you don't mind living with college students, it's the perfect place. I lived there for a while before I got married. It's reasonably priced, clean and they even have a pool! To tell you the truth, I was kind of sad to leave the place."

I thanked her, and after a 2 minute drive, I found the apartments.

The apartment buildings were mottled red brick offset by bright white columns. The landscaping was meticulous, with giant trees casting large sun-dappled shadows across the tidy green lawns. I walked into the main office and found a nice man, in his mid-thirties sitting behind his computer.

"Hi! I was hoping to find an apartment around these parts. Do you happen to have any units available?"

The man stood up and smiled. Today was my lucky day. "We do indeed! I could show one to you right now."

On our way to the first apartment, Brad and I shared pleasantries, including the information that I would be starting work on Monday at the library down the street. We walked down a brick path that went between two apartment buildings. A clean white staircase spiraled between them, with a walkway on the second floor connecting the two buildings.

"This is a one room apartment that was previously occupied by a student that moved out at the end of last semester. The carpets have been cleaned, and all the appliances are new. It's $700 a month, plus a $350 cleaning deposit due at the time you sign the lease. All the second story apartments have a nice little balcony off the bedroom." He led me through the small kitchen into the bedroom, opening the glass door leading out to the balcony. It was facing the perimeter of the complex, so it was private and peaceful. "Another big selling point is the walk-in closets." I held my breath as he flipped the light switch just inside the closet door, revealing clean white shelves on one side, and closet rods on the other two. I wouldn't need a dresser with this much space! The bedroom was large enough to comfortably fit a queen size bed, but not much else. Not that I would need anything else with a closet like that!

The bathroom was also new, white, and clean, with a decent sized tub and a shower curtain enclosure. Attached to the kitchen, was a small area where my dining table would fit. As I thought about the things I had at Gran's house, the kitchen table and Gran's barstool by the phone were the only pieces of furniture I wanted to bring with me. I would need to go shopping for a new bed and couch. It would be nice to pick out things myself, instead of having a mismatch collection of family heirlooms. While I was making a list of things to pack and buy, Brad had continued to prattle off details about the apartment complex. Pool, exercise room, covered parking.

"Wait a minute, there's covered parking? I really am home!" Brad laughed.

"Yep, with a one bedroom apartment, you are assigned one covered parking stall. The uncovered parking is for guests."

"I'll take it!"

"Are you sure you wouldn't like to see a two bedroom model? One opened last week," Brad added, trying to persuade me into seeing the bigger, more expensive apartment.

I shook my head, "Nope, it's just me. This is perfect. Can I sign the lease now?"

Brad smiled and led the way back to the office where he instructed me where to sign, and who to write the check out to. All told, my visit had taken under an hour, and by the time I was done, I had a key in my hand and a happy feeling in my heart.

Everything was going my way, boosting my confidence, making the next step in changing my life seem like a step in the right direction. Tonight I would go to Eric. I would ask him if he would be willing to talk to me, to clear the air between us.

While I ate dinner at a little café, enjoying the bustling student atmosphere and a great cup of coffee, I filled out my paperwork for the library. I felt a great sense of accomplishment. I had a new job lined up, a key to my new apartment, and had already found a local hangout that served cheap food and great coffee. I just hoped that when I went to Fangtasia later everything would work out.

I sat in my car in the parking lot and looked at myself in the tiny mirror in the dull dome lighting. I pulled the bun out and fingered my hair until it fell in soft waves on my shoulders. This was the first time I had seen Eric since he left the night his memory came back. The fortunate events of the day fortified my resolve to put things right between us. It was time for honesty. Now.

I stepped out of the car and walked to the front door. Pam was surprised to see me. "Sookie. It's been a while. Does he know you're coming?" I shook my head. "Are you here for business or pleasure?"

I smiled and said, "Pleasure. I hope."

Pam's eyebrow lifted, "Took you long enough. Meanwhile, I've had to put up with his tantrums!" She waved me in and watched me with a small smile as I walked up to Eric.

Eric wasn't sitting in the center of the room like he normally did, tonight he was situated at a corner booth. His head snapped towards me as I moved towards him, and the conversation he was having with the vampire sitting across from him disintegrated and the poor confused guy was dismissed without another word. Eric stood to greet me. He leaned and planted a soft kiss on my cheek, inhaling the scent of my hair. The kiss sparked a memory in my brain, sending electric shocks through my body. I wondered if it did the same to him. As he pulled away, he looked confused, like his brain was trying to fill in the gaps and it was pissing him off that it couldn't. He covered his frustration with a smile and said "What pretty nail polish."

I smiled at the compliment, and said "Thank you. It's kind of you to notice. I wondered if we could talk." Eric stood and stared at me, mouth gaping as I smiled nervously. I finally figured out that I had stopped him in his tracks by accepting a compliment. He finally snapped out of it and motioned for me to take the side of the booth opposite him. I slid across the seat and leaned forward, bringing intimacy to our conversation.

"I think you deserve to know what happened when you stayed with me," I started. He stared at me, unblinking and unmoving for what seemed like an hour. He just nodded numbly. I started rambling, filling the silence with my rationalization for why I hadn't come to see him earlier. "I was hoping, that despite my past actions, you would be willing to come to my house so we could have a more _private_ conversation. After you get off of work tonight?"

Eric waited for the catch. There wasn't one. "Do you really intend to tell me everything? Why at your house?"

I nodded. "Yep, that's the plan. As for the venue….well, I'm hoping it might jog your memory." I tried to suppress the grin that was threatening to cover my face, and failed miserably.

Eric smiled slowly, "Something about you is different. You're glowing."

"I feel different. I think it's about time for a change, don't you?" Without waiting for him to respond, I stood up "See you later then?" He stood with me and nodded again, planting another kiss on my other cheek. His lips lingered and I was tempted to turn into his waiting mouth, but decided against it as I noticed we had gathered quite a large audience. I pulled away from him and saw happiness in his eyes. "Bye!" With that, I walked out, even more confident that everything would go as planned tonight.

It was another uneventful night at Fangtasia. I sat in my place glaring at the disgusting vermin swarming the club. I was trying to keep my temper in check after last night. The miserable excuse for a human being that got way too close to me ended up with a broken nose and although the club was busier than ever, I knew I couldn't let my temper get the best of me that way again. Pam was right, not that I would ever admit it to her, but ever since I regained my memory a few weeks ago I have been in a constant dark mood. I was restless, hungry and frustrated. I looked at the bottle in my hand with disdain. Synthetic blood might have been our ticket out of the coffin but it was still a vile, nasty substitute to the real thing. Not that _that _tasted much better lately. When I first came back after my short stint at Sookie's I tried to return to my usual fucking and feeding routine but I quickly realized that not only had I lost my desire to fuck any of these miserable creatures, but I also could not even bring myself to feed on them. Their blood was so generic, bland, and I was haunted by the memory of Sookie's exquisite blood flooding my mouth, mixed in with the heady scent and taste of her cum on my tongue…wait, that couldn't be right. I had her blood en masse when she was attacked by the Maenad and I've tasted her delicious pussy when I licked my finger clean after our short, but very sweet, encounter at Russell's but I have unfortunately never had these two rare substances in tandem. My mind was full of her but as hard as I tried I couldn't conjure up what had happened between us. She had insisted nothing did but her blood told me she was lying.

"What has she done to you?" Pam asked after I kicked the third fangbanger in a row out of my office. That was a question I would have really liked to be able to answer myself. Unfortunately, my attempts at regaining my lost memories have proven unsuccessful so far and Sookie was being true to form in refusing to divulge that precious information to me.

If she was anyone else I would have had her tied up in the basement long ago and would have used any means necessary to get what I wanted out of her but the mere thought made me feel sick and that was not a feeling I was used to nor did I appreciate it.

I usually found humans ridiculously easy to understand. They were simple and predictable. But she was different. I was constantly surprised by her and was at a loss trying to understand her behavior and her motives. Why had she lied to me? She had never done it before, I was sure of that, and I knew lying was not something she felt comfortable with. So why? What was she hiding?

I felt her unease and fear at the visit, investigating the disappearance of Debbie Pelt, she received last time I was at her house, even though she maintained perfect composure. Her control over her features and body was almost as good as a vampire's but her blood told a completely different story. When I noticed the brain matter on her old coat it was clear to me that she was indeed responsible for Debbie Pelt's disappearance. I was surprised, since Sookie usually held fast to her Christian beliefs but I definitely couldn't blame her. The bitch did try to kill her after all when she shoved her in that trunk with Compton not to mention she was a waste of space.

My train of thought was broken when Pam approached me, cautiously. I felt slightly guilty about the way I've been treating her lately. I knew she felt I was being unfair, taking my frustration out on her and I knew that if I kept it up I might drive her away, for a while at least. My child was fiercely loyal but it was I who taught her that sometimes retreat and regroup were the best option strategy wise. Her voice brought me out of my reverie and I focused my gaze on her.

"Master? Can I get you something a little…stronger?" Her eyes flicked over to a petite blond standing at the bar.

"No! I'm fine…go perform your duties at the door." I growled at her and saw a flash of hurt cross her face before she regained her composure.

"Very well." She lowered her head in deference and made her way through the crowd.

I had some business to take care of so I moved to sit at my corner booth. I was meeting with an out of town vampire regarding his desire to open a branch of his salon in Shreveport. He had already discussed it with the queen's representatives and was now waiting for me to give my approval. I welcomed the distraction.

The humming sensation at the back of my mind suddenly grew stronger and I knew Sookie was nearby. I stopped listening to Frederick focusing all my attention on the weak thread connecting me to her. I could feel her quite clearly now and knew that she must be outside. She was happy and excited maybe a little nervous and I couldn't help but be influenced by her mood.

I turned my attention back to Frederick, only to send him away. "That sounds fine, you can leave the paperwork with me and I'll get back to you when I've had the time to go over it. You are welcome to stay and have a drink." I looked at him expectantly and he moved out of the booth seemingly unsure as to what just happened.

I stood up watching her approach, entranced as always by the sway of her hips as she gracefully crossed the danced floor, oblivious to the attention she was attracting from both males and females. As always, I ached to kiss her but I reigned in my desire, kissing her cheek softly instead. As her delicious scent invaded my senses I felt a shock running through me. Touching her felt familiar and new at the same time and I couldn't shake the feeling I was missing something important.

"What pretty nail polish." I said, admiring the deep shade of cranberry red. To my surprise she smiled.

"Thank you. It's kind of you to notice. I wondered if we could talk."

I just stood there staring at her for a few seconds, unable to form a response. Was this the same woman who always managed to turn a compliment on its head?

I finally managed to collect myself, motioning for her to sit. She slid across the seat and leaned forward, allowing me a better view of those magnificent breasts.

"I think you deserve to know what happened when you stayed with me," were the next unbelievable words out of her beautiful mouth. I really didn't expect her to change her mind on this. I suppose I was staring at her again, frozen with shock for a long moment, trying to find an appropriate response before I settled on simply nodding my ascent. My silence must have made her uncomfortable since the words were almost tumbling from her mouth now.

"I was hoping, that despite my past actions, you would be willing to come to my house so we could have a more _private_ conversation. After you get off of work tonight?"

I hesitated, unsure how to respond at first. This almost seemed too good to be true.

"Do you really intend to tell me everything? Why at your house?" I looked at her expectantly willing her to mean what she said.

"Yep, that's the plan. As for the venue….well, I'm hoping it might jog your memory." Even if I wasn't already convinced something _interesting_ happened between us while I was staying at her house, her current grin eliminated any doubt I might have had. I smiled at her, marveling at her new attitude.

"Something about you is different. You're glowing." She really was, as if a light had been switched on inside of her.

"I feel different. I think it's about time for a change, don't you?" Before I could respond she stood up to leave. "See you later then?" She said and I nodded, standing up to plant another soft kiss on her cheek. I lingered for a second, savoring her scent, imagining my lips on hers. Perhaps after tonight I wouldn't have to settle for imagination anymore.

"Bye!" She said and walked out leaving me hopeful and unsettled.

I moved back to my 'throne' distractedly, pushing an over confident and barely clad blond out of my way. I struggled to keep the smile off my face as I sat down in my chair. Sookie came to me, of her own volition, not to ask something of me but to invite me to her home. She felt I deserved to know what happened when I stayed with her. I have been climbing the walls (and driving Pam insane) with frustration over losing my memories. A 1,000 years of perfectly clear and vivid memories were marred by the few days that I simply couldn't recall and somehow felt more important than all of the memories I did posses.

I had no idea what might have affected such a transformation in Sookie's behavior but whatever it was I was grateful. Not that I didn't like Sookie before, in fact she was probably my favorite human, but I couldn't say I never wished for her to be less irrational and stubborn.

I wanted her from the second she walked in here, escorted by fucking Compton and I haven't stopped wanting her since. Again and again I found myself aiding her, sometimes against my better judgment, simply because I couldn't bear to see her suffer any pain or hurt if it was within my power to spare her.

I didn't really understand why she was that hostile towards me and why she seemed to think I didn't have her best interest in mind. It was true that I found her telepathy useful and wished her to utilize it on my behalf but that was merely practical. She had a gift and she refused to use it, to me that seemed wasteful and irrational. I felt like my actions should have made it clear to her that I was interested in _her_, not her unique talent but Sookie didn't seem to agree. Until tonight that is. Hearing her say that she felt I deserved to know what happened meant not only that I would finally be able to piece together my missing memories but also that Sookie was finally starting to see things between us more clearly.

I had a few more things I needed to take care of before I could leave the club in Pam's capable hands so I made my way to my office. I spent the next 20 minutes answering e-mails and returning calls.

"I assume you're leaving for the night" Pam drawled, standing at the door.

"You assume correctly" I lifted my eyes from the screen to see a rare smile grace her face.

"She seemed different tonight" she said raising an eyebrow in a perfect imitation of me.

"That she did, she came here to invite me over. She feels I deserve to know what happened when I stayed with her." Pam's shapely eyebrow rose even higher on her forehead, marking her surprise.

"Well, you _do_, with everything you have done for her, but I admit I never expected her to realize that." I stood up, moving closer to Pam.

"Goodnight Pamela." I stopped at the door, stooping to kiss her hair.

"Goodnight Eric." She lowered her head and stepped aside to allow me to pass.

As I made my way out the back door I debated whether I should take the car but decided that simply wasn't fast enough. I took to the air as soon as I was outside allowing the wind to calm my senses as I made my way to Bon temps at neck breaking speed.

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><p>If you want more click the little button... :)<p> 


	3. Chapter 3

Charlaine Harris owns everything. We're just giving her a brain.

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We're experimenting with dual POV, so Sookie's POV will appear in regular font, while Eric's will be in Italics.

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><p>Chapter 3<p>

I was a ball of nerves the whole way home. I needed to relax in order to have a conversation with Eric tonight, especially _that_ conversation. I couldn't believe I was actually going to do it. Seeing him at Fangtasia had been so easy, all that worry for nothing. I talked to him, told him what my plans were, and he agreed. To think that I could have done that weeks ago and didn't….seemed so stupid!

I drove on autopilot while I thought, finding my way home without a problem. The security light shone brightly over my car as I pulled up next to the house, and lit my way into the house. I opened the fridge to make sure I had blood for Eric, and noticed an open bottle of cabernet sauvignon that I had used in a recipe yesterday. That would help. I poured myself a glass and sipped it while I undressed and started the shower. I drank the last bit from the glass and jumped in the shower, letting my mind relax and process the events of the day. I had a new job, a new apartment, and I was going to get a chance to be honest with Eric. Things really had worked out, and I had to admit, it was a really good feeling when things went my way for once!

I stepped out of the shower and was wringing out my hair when I heard a knock on the door. I wasn't expecting Eric for hours, and I couldn't figure out who else it could be. I wrapped myself tightly in a towel and listened to the other side of the door. It was a blank spot. Vampire. Oooo, if Bill decides to show up, tonight of all nights, I might just stake the bastard. I flung the door open, seething with rage, only to be surprised by a very determined looking Eric. I relaxed immediately, and almost dropped my towel. A smile spread across his face. I finally snapped out of it, and said, "I'm sorry Eric. I thought it might be someone else, since I didn't expect you for hours. Shouldn't you be at work?" I cocked my head to the side, and waited for him to speak.

His eyes swept down my body to the small puddle of water dripping on the floor.

"Uh, I should go dry off and get dressed. Will you make yourself at home?" I motioned for him to take a seat in the living room. I flashed a smile at him, and couldn't help but notice the hint of disappointment that lingered on his face when I turned to walk away.

I slipped into my bedroom, closing the door behind me. Eric and I needed to talk, first and foremost. If he came in while I was changing, there would be no words. Well maybe a couple, with lots of moaning in between. I smiled as I slipped into a matching set of bra and panties, in soft pink, and then pulled on a comfortable jersey knit wrap dress in cranberry red, to match my nail polish. It clung to my damp skin, and I had to tug it into place before I left my room.

_I landed on her doorstep, watching the silent descent of an owl, about to make a kill. It was just under an hour since she entered the club, I could feel her irritation as she approached the door. She probably wasn't expecting me this early, but I had already waited too long to have this conversation with her, and I was not about to wait any longer. She flung the door open, and her face registered her surprise. The towel she was clutching to her chest nearly slipped from her grasp. I smiled at the possibility of seeing her naked, but didn't answer her question, choosing to follow the trail of water drops down her tanned legs instead. She seemed to notice my pleasure at seeing her so…..exposed. But unfortunately, after inviting me in, she made her way to her room to change. _

_I looked around the antiquated and rather shabby looking living room, choosing a seat on the sofa in front of the fire. She emerged from her bedroom a moment later, pausing in the doorway, allowing me to appreciate her choice of attire. I had always thought that color would suit her, and I was right. The way the fabric clung to her curves made me hopeful that the evening might end well for both of us. _

"Can I get you a bottle of blood?" I asked on my way to the kitchen, with my empty wine glass in my hands. It was going to take another glass of wine before I could relax enough to spill the truth about our intimate relationship.

"Yes to the bottle of blood." Eric's voice startled me while I had my head in the fridge. "So….what was it you wanted to tell me?" He sounded distracted, and I glanced over my shoulder to see him standing by the kitchen table, focusing intently on the smooth surface, as if it would divulge its secrets if he looked at it long enough.

I heated up a bottle of blood and poured it in a wine glass that matched mine, then turned and poured a second glass of wine for myself. I motioned for him to join me in the living room.

We sat together on the couch. I leaned against the corner tucking my feet next to me, and Eric stretched his long legs out twisting to bypass the coffee table. It was the same way he sat while we had watched movies together, except I had my head in his lap.

I sipped my wine, and then put the glass down, not wanting any distraction at this moment. Eric followed my lead and put his glass down next to mine.

I released a breath I hadn't realized I was holding. "Do you remember _anything_ about your stay here?"

_I looked around the room, my gaze skimming the outline of the furniture and alighting on the cluttered shelves. The 'Buffy the Vampire Slayer' Season 1 box set caught my attention, and I turned to Sookie, "Did I watch this while I was here?" She nodded and smiled._

_Sookie's face looked hopeful, "Do you remember that?"_

"_No, but it seems like something I would watch if I had the chance." Sookie's face registered surprise. "What? Just because I'm a thousand year old vampire I hate television?" Sookie tried to form a sentence, but all that came out was a strange spluttering sound._

I struggled to find an answer to what he just said, and couldn't. I had assumed that amnesiac Eric's enjoyment of 'Buffy' stemmed from his altered personality, obviously I was wrong. This just served as a reminder that I needed to stop assuming that I knew Eric, since I had never really _seen_ him before he stayed at my house. In fact, the more I thought about it, the more I realized that I had never spent time with him under normal circumstances. How in the hell would I know him or what his preferences were? I suddenly felt insecure, since I wouldn't be able to predict his reaction.

I fidgeted with the seam of my dress, and tried to find a way to start the conversation. "Eric….I um, I'm not sure where to start. The days you spent with me were….and we….and I…." Ugh. This was harder than I thought it would be.

"Sookie, is this about Debbie Pelt?"

I blanched and felt queasy.

"She was a waste of space and one of the most horrible bitches I ever encountered. I do not know the details of her death, but I'm sure it was justified."

Eric managed to surprise me yet again, and I'm pretty sure my mouth would have caught flies if there were any nearby. Not only did he figure out what happened, but he wasn't gloating about it like I assumed he would. I gathered my resolve, looked him straight in the eye and said, "Eric, I owe you an apology. I'm so sorry I wasn't honest about what happened when you didn't have your memory. I thought…..well, I assumed that if you knew, then it would somehow give you power over me. I know now that I was wrong. I have been judging you unfairly and I'm ready to change that. You have never given me reason to distrust you, and you should know what happened to Debbie since it involved you."

Eric nodded for me to continue.

"She was waiting at my house that night, after the witch war, with a gun. She fired at us, and you lunged in front of me, taking the bullet and giving me enough time to get my shotgun. I killed her, and if I hadn't she would have killed me."

_I knew her Christian upbringing was making her feel guilty when she shouldn't. "It would have been unfortunate if you had let her." She looked thoughtful as she weighed my words and then she nodded, accepting the reality of the situation. "Did I get rid of the evidence?" _

"_Yes, but you didn't give me any details about how or where."_

"_That explains how you answered truthfully last time I was here." _

"_Can you tell when I lie?" Sookie asked._

_I pondered my answer, not wishing to alarm her, as she always seemed reluctant to accept the presence of my blood in her. "Yes, among other things." _

"Oooooh, so that's _how_ you knew…." I trailed off feeling a blush spread across my cheeks.

"Knew what?" Eric asked, suddenly more alert.

I took a deep breath and decided that this was the moment that I had been waiting for. "That's how you knew I wanted you to join me in the shower."

"In the shower….."

"Among other things." I replied, trying to mask the smile on my face.

"So, you _did_ yield to me," he practically purred.

"Eric. Don't be so cocky." My attempt at scolding was lost on him.

"What about my cock?" Eric lifted an eyebrow, and I blushed even deeper as memories of his magnificent body flooded my mind. It was so tempting to bypass the conversation and skip to the good part. I had to remind myself about my resolutions about being honest with him and changing things between us.

"Sex was definitely a big part of what happened between us, but it was more than that. You were different, and I was different."

"Well, obviously _you_ were different if you yielded to me, but how was I different?" Eric's voice went from cocky to serious.

"You didn't want your memories back, you said you could stay with me always. You said you had feelings for me, you said you could love me."

"And what did you say?"

"I told you I had feelings for you too." I admitted

"And do you still?"

"Yes." It felt so good to finally say it out loud, and it felt even better to see a look of pure joy spread over Eric's face as I said it.

I was confused. "So _you_ have feelings for me too?"

"Well, yes didn't you just say yourself that I had feelings for you?"

I stumbled over my words, "Yes, amnesiac Eric had feelings for me….."

"There is no other Eric. I am me. _That_ was me." Eric looked confused.

"But that wasn't you. You were sweet, you were attentive, you wanted to know everything about me, you only wanted to make me happy."

"I might not show it in the same manner, but I have always tried to make you happy."

His words cut through me. Even though I finally thought of Eric as a decent and caring person, at least towards me, I still hadn't realized that amnesiac Eric was actually Eric. He couldn't remember who he was, but he was still himself.

"I realize now that I assumed so many things, and I'm sorry that I didn't give you the benefit of the doubt." I felt like crying.

_I was suddenly overcome with Sookie's feelings of sadness and regret. I instinctively reached out for her hand to comfort her, and was pleased when she didn't pull away. "Sookie, I'm happy that you can finally see me." I haven't had a connection with a human for so long that I had forgotten what it means to be young, really young. I had always assumed that Sookie's rejection of me was based in her irrational hatred for me. I never understood that she didn't have sufficient life experience, especially with men, to see my actions for what they were, an expression of my feelings for her. But here she was, opening herself to me as I had hoped for since we first met. I realized that Sookie was not the only one guilty of assumptions. _

"_I am sorry too. I guess I didn't try to understand your motives, or explain mine."_

_Sookie started to cry as I finished speaking. I kissed her tears away and then moved to her mouth. I brushed my lips against hers, deepening the kiss as I felt her respond. The sweetness of her mouth stirred something in me, almost unlocking the memories I had been desperately trying to recover. I had suspected all along that Sookie was the key. But this was something I couldn't take or force out of her. She had to come to me because she wanted to. _

_I pulled away from her, waiting for her to make the next move. This meeting was on her terms. As much as I wanted to peel her dress off of her luscious body I couldn't let my lust take over._

_Sookie's heart was racing, and she was breathless, making my decision to slow down even harder. She sat up and said, "I had forgotten how much I enjoy that." She sighed._

"_Just that?"_

_Sookie blushed, and took a deep breath. "No, not just that. I don't know if I can explain in detail how much I enjoyed our time together."_

"_You could always show me."_

"_So you don't remember what happened, right there, on the rug, in front of the fire?" Sookie's eyes focused on a spot near my feet. I moved off the couch and lay down on the rug._

"_Here?" I asked, searching for guidance, trying to trigger something. Anything. _

_Sookie slid off the couch and crawled over to me. "Not quite, you were….here." She positioned my shoulders slightly to the left._

"_And you? Where were you?"_

"_Here," she said as she straddled my body. "You told me I looked beautiful in the glow of the fire." Her dress rode up her thighs as she settled down against me, her heat radiating through me. I closed my eyes and I could see her naked on top of me, her golden skin lit by the fire. I shifted uncomfortably, wishing I had worn looser pants._

"_You _are_ beautiful," I said, Sookie blushed again. _

"_I got rug burns on my knees, and you kissed them better," she said in a whisper. _

"_I would have imagined your bed, not the floor."_

"_Well…that was one of the places. You really don't remember?" _

"_It would really help if you could show me those too, maybe that would spark a memory." I managed to keep my facial expression neutral because I didn't want to make Sookie self-conscious of what she was doing, but it wasn't easy._

_Sookie pushed off of my chest, rocking her body forward to stand up, giving me a view of the edge of her lacy bra. I had to force my hands to stay down against the floor._

_Sookie offered her hand to me, leading me to the kitchen. I looked at her questioningly. "Why are we in the kitchen?"_

_Sookie pushed the chairs out of the way and sat on the edge of the table, spreading her knees. She grabbed the front of my shirt and pulled me towards her, between her legs. "You don't know how hard it has been eating at this table after we broke it in." Her eyes were dark, and she was staring at my mouth. I leaned in for another kiss, deeply satisfied by the eagerness in which she reciprocated. I suddenly felt her tight heat envelop me, and my hips rocked involuntarily, reacting to the memory. We were both fully dressed, and all we did was kiss, but I could physically feel myself inside her. When I pulled away, her lips were swollen and shiny, and it took everything in me to resist her again, but I felt I must know everything._

"_Anywhere else? The hallway?" Sookie nodded. "On the floor, or against the wall?" Sookie nodded twice. I could feel her embarrassment, but I couldn't help the satisfied expression on my face. _

"_The front door, the hidey hole, the spare bedroom, upstairs, outside….and of course, the shower. Oh how you loved the shower."_

_I quirked an eyebrow at that, and walked down the hall to the bathroom. I pulled the curtain back and stepped into the small tub willing the memories to reveal themselves. I leaned my forehead against the wall and grunted in frustration when nothing happened. Sookie touched my back, and the contact sparked something. I turned around and faced her, "You like my ass." Sookie blushed again and nodded hopefully, "And you have the most beautiful breasts I have ever seen."_

I handed him a bar of lavender soap. He smelled it and his eyes snapped to mine. His fingers traced the edge of material over my breasts, making me shudder. "This was our first time. In here. I walked in on you while you were getting dressed and I couldn't stop staring."

"I felt your lust…." Eric said.

"You joined me in the shower, and it was magnificent." I smiled as I remembered.

I walked across the hall and opened my bedroom door, "This is where you….uh tasted me. You told me 'Watch me, Lover.' And I couldn't tear my eyes away, I had never seen anything so sexy in all my life." I sat on the edge of the bed. "This is also where you spent the first night after I found you. You were so afraid and alone, and you came into my room and held my hand all night long. I missed you in the morning. Sometimes I would check on you in the hidey hole, just to be sure you had gotten in safely. I hated leaving you."

"I want to remember missing you too." Eric stretched out on the bed next to me. "Every time we touch, I feel my memories stirring. I think that is the key to breaking the spell completely."

"Do you think it would help you get your memories back?"

"I believe so."

I stood up and turned to face him. Clumsily untying the knot holding my dress closed. Eric sat up and swung his legs over the edge of the bed, leering at me. I felt slightly embarrassed, but at the same time confident. Even though he didn't remember it, I knew he liked my body, since he told me so. I pulled my dress open, revealing my matching bra and panties. Eric's eyes lit up and he reached out, looping his thumbs under my bra straps and drawing them down my arms, caressing my exposed shoulders. Eric's lips moved across my collarbone and he pulled me closer, resting his head in the crook of my neck. "I can feel it working already."

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